


Don't Forget Where You Belong

by spierfics



Series: Spierfeld AU Collection [75]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26407741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spierfics/pseuds/spierfics
Summary: @beeesworld on tumblr prompted: Could you please do a story about them having some big fight, like so bad tears and all and then they make up later
Relationships: Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier
Series: Spierfeld AU Collection [75]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1010772
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	Don't Forget Where You Belong

Simon was unsure when they began to raise their voices but they were too invested in this argument to stop now. 

He was glad nobody was home because Simon knew his parents would have intervened in some way, ending this much needed conversation with Bram. Not that Simon liked it, not one bit, but he knew it was necessary. 

It isn’t easy for him to fight with Bram, who looks beautiful even when upset. But he lied, and that’s something Simon cannot get past. They’ve been delaying this for so long, it seemed like Bram hoped Simon would forget about it, but he couldn’t.

“It wasn’t a big deal!” Bram repeated, which once again felt like an arrow to the heart for Simon.

“Wasn’t a big deal?!” Simon yelled, trying not to strain his voice. “You’d filled out the applications Bram! Multiple applications, to places so far away I bet we wouldn’t even be able to call each other!”

“Now you’re just being over-dramatic,”

“So what if I am,” Simon said shakily, mumbling his next words, “At least I give a fuck about this relationship,”

Bram heard him anyway, and replied incredulously “I don’t care about this relationship? Is that what you think?”

“Well you don’t act like it, so what am I supposed to think?”

“Well if you hated the thought of being with me so much you should have told me, seems like I’m a waste of space to everyone in my life,” Bram said with his voice cracking.

Simon barely had time to absorb what Bram had just said that for a few moments he just stood there dumfounded, unsure what to say.

“Bram…”

“Just don’t, Si. I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Bram said in an exhausted tone and for the first time since this fight began Simon noticed just how tired Bram looked physically.

His eyes were red, due to crying or lack of sleep, or both. The dark circles beneath his eyes were more prominent than Simon had ever seen. His posture was slumped, which was something Bram was always conscious about, and Simon wished he'd noticed sooner. 

Simon wondered for a second if Bram hated him, hated Simon for doing this to him. Simon prayed he could drop this entire argument with every ounce of his being, but knows in his heart he can’t. It’s about them, and if there’s something he’ll never let wither away is his relationship with Bram. He’d fight for them no matter what, even if the person he would fight with is Bram himself.

It barely made sense to Simon himself, but he was too stubborn to stop. But he couldn’t lie, it hurt like hell.

“We do need to talk about it, Bram.” Simon said in the softest tone he could manage without crying, “But not now,”

Bram nodded defeatedly, walking towards Simon’s bedroom door when a loud boom of thunder startled them both. It came from outside, and as Simon looked outside the window he realized that he had no clue when it started raining.

Simon glanced towards where Bram was, only to find him not there anymore. Simon raced down his stairs just in time to catch Bram at his front door.

“What are you doing?”

“Going home,”

“How?”

“I’ll walk,” Bram shrugged, “Or get a Lyft,”

“Don’t be dumb,” Simon caught up to him, “I’ll drive you.”

“Si,” Bram closed his eyes while shaking his head. “You don’t have to,”

“I want to,” Simon insisted, grabbing his car keys and heading to his car.

Simon knows why he’s doing this, he knows if he’s left alone he’s going to break down crying and after what Bram said during their fight he doesn’t want to leave Bram alone either.

* * *

Simon didn’t know it was possible for a passenger to sit so far away from the driver’s seat but Bram seems to be doing so. He was always within reach, always there for Simon to intertwine his hand with and now he seemed untouchable.

_‘That’s how far away Bram was planning to go anyway’_ Simon thought to himself and felt sick to his stomach again. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk about it either.

* * *

Bram hated the fact that he didn’t know how to talk to Simon. He supposed he learned this from his parents, and he knew exactly how their relationship ended up. Bram figured he was destined for that type of pain anyway, it was inevitable. What truly hurt him is how much he was putting Simon through, the last person in the world he wanted to cause pain.

It was his fault, Bram knew that. He had no idea why he hid those college applications from his boyfriend, but knew it was something that would upset Simon. In an effort to save Simon from pain, he ended up being the cause of it. That was all that Bram was good for apparently, and maybe this fight was for the best. Maybe he was saving Simon from the pain that Bram brought to everyone in his life apparently.

He should have closed the tabs. Exited out of the websites and not given them a second thought. But how could he? His dad had made one request, to think about it.

Bram knew what that meant, it was his father telling him ‘ _I’m moving to the other side of the world and if you still want to be in my life, try a university near me,_ ’

He hadn’t exactly said those words, but that’s what it felt like. Bram wasn’t important enough to stay for. His dad hadn’t even discussed it, instead placed the weight of the decision on Bram’s shoulders.

So Bram thought about it, he filled out applications for every university that made seemed like a right fit but he couldn’t ever find the courage to actually apply.

And how was Simon supposed to understand that? How unwanted that made Bram feel, and how he didn’t have the guts to say no to his own father.

Bram felt his migraine return, thinking about everything that he’d ruined and decided to close his eyes for a couple of moments.

* * *

Simon couldn’t take it anymore, the gravity of what Bram had said finally caught up to him and didn’t want Bram to ever think that about him. Of course he wasn’t a waste of space, Bram was one of the most important people in his life and Simon felt like a failure of a boyfriend if Bram didn’t feel that from him.

He noticed Bram had closed his eyes, perhaps even fallen asleep so he slowed down his car and parked on the side of the street. Bram’s eyes were still closed so Simon reached over and softly brushed his fingers against the top of Bram’s hand.

Bram’s eyes shot open, shocked at the touch, but he didn’t pull away.

* * *

Bram looked at Simon with confusion in his eyes, wondering why Simon was doing this. Weren’t they just yelling at each other less than fifteen minutes ago. But he didn’t want Simon to let go, it felt like Simon’s touch was grounding him and Bram held on for dear life.

Simon intertwined their fingers together, using that leverage to bring Bram’s hand closer to his mouth planting a soft kiss on Bram’s wrist, right where pulse was beginning to quicken.

“I’m sorry,” Bram said immediately, “I shouldn’t have hid everything from you.”

“I know,” Simon nodded, unable to hold his tears back anymore now that Bram had apologized, “And I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have pushed you to talk, not when you weren’t ready,”

“You didn’t, I’m just a moron who doesn’t know how to talk,”

“That’s one thing you definitively are _not_ , Bram,” "You don't know that for sure,” Bram said, trying to hold back a sob.

“I do,” Simon replied insistently, “It’s the one thing I know for sure. And that I love you,”

Bram breathed out slowly, almost letting go of the weight that he seemed to carry on his shoulders, "I love you too, Si. So much. And I wasn’t going to leave. Not really. I don’t think I could ever leave you.”

“I couldn’t leave you either,” Simon responded, feeling the tears stream down his face. “That’s why I was acting so crazy,”

“You weren’t. You were just showing how much you cared,” Bram said, reaching forward and wiping the tears off Simon’s cheek with his thumb, in hopes of comforting him.

It worked, Simon lay his head into Bram’s hand and Bram found himself whispering his apologies again. 

“I love you,” Bram repeated to him, hoping that Simon would never forget the fact. Simon replied by leaning forward and Bram knew what he needed. He knew because it was exactly what he needed too.

He kissed Simon with every fibre of his being, hoping that it translated everything that was left unsaid. He knew that he’d explain his side of things later, now that things were calmer, but he wasn’t concerned about any of that right now.

All that he cared about was the fact that Simon was in his arms, he was kissing him, and Simon wasn’t going anywhere. And neither was Bram, he was right where he belonged.


End file.
